Why I Need To Overcome Self Doubt and Stop Expecting A Disaster

I’m going through a strange time at the moment.

After over 20 years of working a 9-5 role and to someone else schedule, I now decide my own hours and what I need to achieve that day and it’s taken a bit of getting used to.

I’ve been doing some work for a small building company 2 days a week and I really enjoy it. As well as writing content for their social media & website, I’m doing quite a bit of admin.

It’s very flexible and it took me a while to get my head around the fact that I don’t “have” to be at my desk at 9 am.

This week was super busy so we decided that rather than work 2 full days a week, I would work a couple of hours each day and it’s working well so far. I just now have to get used to working this way instead.

I was speaking to some friends this week about my freelancing and I am finding it weird to talk about it like it’s not actually me I’m talking about. It doesn’t feel real and if I’m honest I’m experiencing a bit of imposter syndrome.

I am spending a lot of time reminding myself that I can write, I have been writing all of my life and I have been writing my blog for 6 years. But as always, when things are going well for me, self-doubt creeps in and I sometimes panic that my happy little bubble is going to burst.

But I am going to keep working hard on both myself, my business (it feels so weird to even write that!!) and this blog page which I have come to love doing so much.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, the bestie hosted a bring-a-board night at her house last Saturday. I made a savoury board based on an 80’s buffet. There were meats, cheeses, bread, olives, desserts and even vodka jelly shots, which I had far too many of!

On Sunday, I had a chilled day on the sofa before hitting the ground running with work on Monday. I managed to get out for my morning walks on Monday & Tuesday and even popped to B&M with the bestie for a little shopping trip.

On Wednesday I woke up feeling a little bit crappy, so I decided to give my walk a miss but at the end of the day I realised that going for a walk would probably have helped, so on Thursday I was back up and out and the husband cooked us steaks for dinner and we drank red wine and watched The Lost City, with Channing Tatum & Sandra Bullock it was a funny, easy watch.

On Friday I had to be up early to get my lashes done so I did my walk after, changing my route. When I got home around lunchtime, I realised I hadn’t eaten yet and I felt tired and dizzy so I made the husband and I some lunch.

After eating, I felt so exhausted but I had lots of work to get through so I brought my laptop downstairs and ploughed through as much as I could but at 6 pm I decided that I needed to shut down my laptop and give my brain a break.

The husband was supposed to go out with friends tonight but it didn’t happen so we chilled out in front of the TV, watched the first episode of Yellowstone and then I’m a celebrity get me out of here, more on that tomorrow.

2022-11-12 13:06:11

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