Thinking it through

Sunday 7th November 2021

I’ve been feeling a bit flat the last couple of days. I can’t quite put my finger on why though.

We’re going on holiday in a couple of weeks, we were supposed to go in May but the country went on the red list 10 days before we were due to go, so we moved it to November. I’m definitely worrying about this so I know this is a factor, I can’t allow myself to get excited in case it all goes tits up again, I’m desperate for a break and also really want to spend some quality time with the husband.

Work has also been meh. My new boss is great but there are couple of people in the company that are so unnecessarily rude and seem hellbent on making his and the rest of the teams life a misery. There is such a toxic blame culture and although I am trying not to let it get to me, it quite obviously is.
It’s frustrating as I do enjoy my job, I am much more into it than I have ever been. I will just never understand the need for other people to behave the way they do towards others. We all have our own issues and problems, let’s try not to make life harder for everyone else because of it. I thought about raising a complaint, but I think certain individuals are more or less invincible and it will be a waste of my time and energy.

I’ve eaten a lot of rubbish this week too, lunches and dinners with friends, takeaways and alcohol throughout the week and whilst I’m still drinking less than usual I’ve still had a glass most evenings this week. This isn’t going to help me feel better.

I did try for the first time, reflexology & an Indian head massage on Monday which was amazing. She did tell me I may feel emotional afterwards as they are treatments which are meant to balance the body. I did have a good old cry when I got home about something very minor to do with work, but could this still be affecting me a week later? I very much doubt it. I felt fine after my little cry and have been up until the weekend.

Am I feeling this way because I have been feeling good and I am back in the mindset of waiting for something bad to happen?
I am not going to give in to the desire to wallow in self pity.
I am going to start packing my suitcase for my holiday, if in the unfortunate event we don’t end up going, my summer stuff will be ready for the loft.
I’m going to clean the house and get rid of all the clutter as I know this clears my head as well.
I’m going to have a nice long Sunday night bath and do a face mask and wash the last week off of my body.
I have some nice things planned this week so I will keep moving forward

2021-11-07 17:18:00

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