It’s been a while! It feels like there has been lots going on, but that could be because I am always giving myself so much to do!
I have been struggling with my morning routine ever since I got back from holiday. It was always something I enjoyed, but now it feels like a bit of a chore. That being said, when I don’t do it, I find that I am not as motivated or productive with my days.
I have been consistent with my daily walks and try to get out for an hour at least 5 times per week and instead of listening to podcasts or an audiobook, I have been listening to some of the videos I’ve saved in my chrome reading list, which are usually about writing, self-improvement or motivation. I find that I am usually raring to go when I get back home.
For some bizarre reason, I have been waking up before my alarm, which is set for 7 am. I’m not complaining though, I do love being up earlier especially now the mornings are a little darker and I get to see the sky change. I also enjoy feeling like I’ve gained some extra time in my day.
I saw my friend this week for lunch, we went to Pizza Express in Covent Garden. As I stepped off of the train at Charing Cross, it started to drizzle. I find umbrellas to be a pain in the arse, but I wasn’t worried that I didn’t have one, I didn’t have far to walk.
Of course, as I got a few minutes up the road, the heavens decided to open and I got drenched. I soon dried off and enjoyed an afternoon with my friend. When it was time to leave, the drizzle had returned and once again, as I got a little further up the road it rained twice as hard. Thankfully, the husband picked me up from the station at the other end.
I woke up even earlier on Wednesday, had a weird dream I was house sitting for Rob Beckett whilst he went on holiday with his family – weird. I managed to get back to sleep again and dream about something more normal (I think) but I felt tired and like I was coming down with a cold. Great!
I went and had my lashes done and then had my therapy session. As usual, I had a really good session. I am now aware of my self-esteem getting lower and my fear of failure and rejection are taking over.
One of the things we discussed in my session was about my working days. Now I am doing some admin a couple of days a week, I’ve been struggling to balance my week out and do my writing, even though at the beginning of each week I decide what I’m doing on what days, something always seems to come up and I end up doing nothing.
So at the suggestion of my therapist, rather than plan a week ahead, I planned a month ahead. I blocked out my working days in my calendar so I know what I am supposed to be doing and when and I must treat it like a job because it is.
Just because I am not earning from it yet, doesn’t mean I get to drop it at the first opportunity for a long lunch or a shopping trip. I have been living beyond my means for the last couple of months and I need to knuckle down, especially with Christmas around the corner.
I felt motivated once I had made this decision and my calendar is up to date. Why hadn’t I thought of doing this before? It was so simple!
My mind started to tick over. If this works and I can get this in order, what else could I improve? There is one other area, that if you have been reading my posts for a while now, you will know that like a lot of people, I have struggled with my weight for some time.
If this method works, then why not apply the tools I have used to stick to my routine to exercise and weight loss? There would be some tweaks needed but it’s worth a try.
I go to bed feeling enthusiastic about all this. I haven’t felt this motivated in a long time! It’s all about switching up my mindset. I need to start treating myself as a priority and making myself and my needs as important as I do for the wants and needs of others.
On Thursday, I woke up early again but today, I got up and got to it. I got that morning routine done and I felt such a sense of achievement, I had set myself up for the day!
The resistance I had felt earlier to going out for my walk had slowly disappeared and my motivation has risen. I beat that inner voice telling me not to do stuff and just did it.
Sometimes I feel like there is some sort of inner demon in me that doesn’t want me to do well, it wants me to sit here all day in my dressing gown feeling like shit and never achieving anything. Well, fuck you demon! Not today!
I feel better physically and mentally today. Then think why stop at planning my work days for the month? Why not plan my blog content too once that’s done, I can look at planning my freelance stuff as well. It will be much easier going into my days knowing what I’m going to be doing.
I need to remember all of this so I can pick myself up on the days I need it. I know there will be those days, but the good thing is there will also be these days and there will be other days with other feelings in between and that is life and that is how it will be and I just need to ride the waves, enjoy the highs and get through the lows.
The husband and I sit down to a spaghetti bolognese dinner and a couple of glasses of red wine
What a great day today was!
Friday does not break tradition and I wake up early. 3 am, I feel like I’m coming down with something again, but I woke up feeling crappy again this morning. I did wake up briefly at 3 am but I do manage to get back to sleep.
I force myself up out of bed just after 7 and I didn’t want to do a thing, so I made myself a cup of tea and catch up on Married At First Sight. After that, I complete my morning routine and reward myself by watching 2 episodes of Real Housewives!
Still feeling crap and the avoidance tactics are coming out because today is freelance day and my plan is to send out a pitch. Instead, I find myself putting the shopping away, putting clean clothes away and generally doing anything to avoid sitting down to work on a pitch but eventually I did it. I sat down and wrote a pitch. Yay me!!
I felt pretty pleased with myself after that. The husband and I went for a long walk to a local park and we fed the ducks. Such a simple thing but it was really nice to do something a bit different together it felt a bit romantic.
We stopped off at the pub in the park for a quick drink and then strolled home, where I ran myself a nice bath and did a face mask.
What a great end to a positive week ❤️
