The book fairy

Sunday 29th November 2020

It’s been a busy couple of weeks. Work is absolutely crazy, the guy I work with is on paternity leave, so I’m covering his work as well as my own. It’s also the end of year which means appraisals and not only so I have to complete my own, I now manage people, which means I have to give appraisals. Eek! Luckily for me the people I have are good at their job so I don’t have anything negative to say.

I rejoined mind your fitness this week. My mental health has improved massively and I feel ready to focus on my relationship with food again, I had a great start to the week but towards the end, after a stressful week I had a couple of glasses of wine which led me to some old habits. On the positive side I was very mindful and learnt a lot about these habits, why they occur and even better, that I don’t actually enjoy certain things as much as I thought, it’s very empowering realising that actually that thing I always want to eat when I feel crap, actually doesn’t make me feel better and I don’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would, hopefully I can remember this going forward and make better choices.

I have been quite emotional lately. I had a very deep conversation with my counsellor in the week and we are now embarking on some of the deeper, darker times that I have spent so long trying to bury. I’ve also had a couple of bits of sad news and I am working really hard to find new ways of coping with these things that don’t involve food or drink.

Yesterday, I had a much needed and much enjoyed lazy day. I went for my usual morning walk, came home and caught up on some TV programs under a blanket on the sofa, I had 2 naps and a takeaway for dinner, my first one in weeks, which if I’m honest, was disappointing, it tasted nice enough but I realised I enjoy the healthier option just has much, if not more.

Today, I was well rested, I went out for my walk and left 3 books at 3 different bus stops, I’ve ordered some stickers from the book fairy again and I have been leaving books at the bus stops all this week for people to take (I have so many books!) I get really annoyed if someone’s actually at the bus stop as I don’t want people to see me leaving them so I have to wait and do it on the way back. I’m taking this fairy business pretty seriously. I’ve had a much more productive day today, I’ve done some batch cooking, put some more Christmas decorations up and done some cleaning.

When I do sit down and go on Facebook, I see something that really fucked me off. Now, everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this COVID business. Some people are all for it and following the rules to a T, some people, myself included, are pretty confused, but generally follow the rules and there are others who are completely against the entire thing. I can see both sides and I genuinely don’t really know what to think about it all, but if the difference between wearing a mask and not wearing a mask makes a difference to my family’s safety, I don’t mind doing it, it’s not hurting me. I absolutely do not judge those that choose not to, some of my friends choose not to wear masks and I respect their choices as do they mine. However, what I do not appreciate, is people posting insults to people who have decided to follow the guidelines. Calling people pathetic imbeciles. This person is constantly spouting about it’s a free country and people should do as they choose, yet now people are CHOOSING to the follow the guidelines, they are being insulted. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course, but please do have a thought for the people who have lost loved ones, people who are working on the front line. We are all in this together, we are all in the same boat. There are better ways of getting your point across, throwing insults at people that do not share your views isn’t it.