Pressing pause

Wednesday 27th May 2020

It’s our 2nd Wedding Anniversary today! We both wake up exhausted, however, I had the good sense to book the day off work, so lounge around in bed a bit longer.

You may (or may not) have noticed my absence, I had a return of the fog and needed to take some time to gather myself.
I have found the last few times I have done that, pressed pause on life, where I can of course, it has really helped. Why the bloody hell do we put so much pressure on ourselves? I know I’ve said it all before, but I still bloody do it.

I’m also going to repeat myself. Drinking. It’s getting out of hand again. I can blame lockdown, I can blame the weather, I can even blame the husband but I (we) all know it’s me.
I’ve been thinking A LOT about this recently, how it affects my mood, my thinking, my behaviour.

I’m reading Lost Connections, which is just so bloody interesting. It’s about depression & anxiety and the science behind it, but it’s not boring technical stuff, it’s easy to understand and quite frankly, mind blowingly simple. I want to come off of my anti depressants, I am due to anyway, but reading this has confirmed it for me (I’m not finished yet though!)

One glaringly obvious factor, is that the alcohol isn’t helping. I now know that my depression is “reactive” It happens after stressful life events, but would I be better if I just calmed the drinking down rather than medicate? I wouldn’t bloody know would I? So this is something I’m looking to improve. Now I’ve done dry January, I feel more confident about it.

The plan is to stop weekday drinking, it’s not needed, unless (there’s always room for a caveat) it is a special occasion. Lo & Behold, what is an anniversary if not a celebration?

Anyway, I’m banging on, I asked my friend if he read my blog the other day and he said no because I am repetitive about my drinking and my weight and he then has to hear it twice. Charming.

Today we are going to the local park for a picnic. When I first met the husband I told him I liked picnics & zoos, so today, for the second time in 7 years we picnic.

#Lifestyle #Blogging #SelfCare #SelfLove #Positivity #Wellness #blog #blogger #bloggers #blogpost #quarantine #quarantinelife #lockdown

mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression #health #mentalillness #recovery #psychology #healing #mentalhealthmatters #life #happiness #stress #wellbeing #overwhelmed #awareness

2020-05-27 09:41:00

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