Sunday 2nd January 2022
Another year over. 2021 flew by didn’t it!
I was really happy to have some much needed time off of work. Since having some time away, I’ve been thinking it may be time for some changes. For now, I have been clear with my boss that I currently don’t have the capacity to take on extra responsibilities and will be putting my health first.
COVID is doing the rounds again and I think I may be a victim. We did the right thing and ordered PCR tests but then missed the last post on New Years Eve, forgetting that it would be earlier. So, for now I’ll be staying home until I feel better.
Spending so much time indoors, I’ve been reading some old blogs and doing lots of self reflection. Usually, this ends up making me feel like shit, but reading old posts has made me realise how far I have come with my mental health, I wince when I think about the pain I was in back then and I had no idea how to deal with it all. Alcohol was such a massive problem for me as well and although I knew it, I just made light of it and used it to numb all that pain.
My physical health still needs some work, but my relationship with food has improved and that comes with the improvement of other areas of my life. I honestly think this is all down to my counselling. I am slowly untangling that messy ball of string in my head.
I think the past couple of years have taught us that anything can happen. I hate the unpredictable, I like stability it makes me feel safe. My reaction to anything outside the norm has become ridiculous, I don’t cope very well at all, but again this is a learning curve, for all of us, so like I have done with the other obstacles that come my way, I own it, address it and move on, it’s not as “easy” as all that, of course, but I’ve realised that you can’t avoid these things, if you run away, they catch up with you eventually.
My New Years post wouldn’t be the same without mentioning the goals for 2022.
I have set myself some goals, but I’m not going to share these with you, for now.
With the world so upside down still, I don’t want to put any unnecessary pressure on myself. From past experience, I know that what I set out to achieve on January 1st can change a week or two later so I know there will be some tweaking to be done. For now I’m going to try putting in some good habits to kick start the year as well as keeping some of things I’ve learned that are working for me.
