A comeback attempt

Monday 9th August 2021

I am attempting to make a comeback, not only on my blog, but in life.

I wanted to wake up with a spring in my step this morning, it didn’t quite happen. My alarm was set for 6.45am, the plan was to get up, get some gym wear on and go for a walk and guess what? I only bloody did it.
Once I am actually out of bed, I am fine and head out in the Monday morning rain.
I realised this morning that this is some of the only time I actually get to myself. Working from home, the husband and I are both indoors, its only really if he goes out that I get some time to myself as I don’t have the commute at the moment.
I walk for 50 minutes, its my form of meditation, I empty my head and refill it with more crap, its like a giant recycling of thoughts and feelings and I come home have a shower and feel better for it.

8:45 comes around, which means starting another dreaded task. Work. Its not been great for a while, its such a toxic environment at the moment and a constant cycle of people blaming our team for things. I’ve been here for over 3 years, there are two other people in the team who have been here for around the same time, the other 5 team members havent been here for longer than 18 months, we’re on our 4th manager and have probably had about 4 different full teams, none of which has been consistent until now, yet the same problems keep cropping up.
I know its just a job, one I am actually paid quite well for, its not long hours either and at the moment working from home and looking to go back into the office 2-3 days per week, sounds perfect right? So why do I spend most days feeling pissed off? Pissed off that they are bringing in people externally who are messing things up, pissed off that they are hiring new people instead of investing in the staff they have. I need to try and detach myself but for some reason its harder now at home, I can’t walk out of the building and leave it all behind. Maybe going back into the office will be better for my mind. Lets hope so.

I am listening to a new Law of Attraction book, its called “The last law of attraction book you’ll ever need” I love hearing about new ways to manifest things. Each day, in my happiness journal, I write thank you universe for the things I wish to manifest. The first day I did it one of my manifestions was “Thank you for my lottery win” When I woke up the next morning I had won £1.70 on the Euro Millions, it really works I guess I have to be more specific about the amount.
I do find that listening to or reading about the Law of Attraction does make me feel more positive and hopeful, its the nature of the concept I suppose and who doesn’t want to live in hope? Especially in the current climate, I get worried if I get a cold that I am going to give someone a fatal disease these days, thats pretty depressing in itself.
I know for me, routine is key, I need to have some structure to my days, its deeply ingrained in me as I went from school straight into work and sometimes at the weekends if I have no plans I can find myself at a loss and don’t quite know what to do with myself, so although I am pissed off at work, I am also grateful that I have the structure of having a job and of course getting paid is quite an incentive as well.

So there we have it, I shall end on a positive note and hopefully it will be contagious and send some positivity your way.