Why Playing Hide & Seek With My Own Feelings Just Doesn’t Work

I started this week off feeling flutters of excitement.

I finally feel like I have more of a sense of direction, a rough plan and an idea of where I am going. It’s nice to feel alive and have a feeling of purpose.

I worked on my newsletter last week and have decided to include a reading list for 2023, where I and my newsletter subscribers decide on a book to read each month and discuss together. We’ll be starting with self-improvement books and the vote will be taking place in tomorrow’s newsletter. If that sounds like something you would be interested in, you can sign up here

The husband and I went to the theatre on Monday to see Only Fools and Horses, the musical. As a huge fan of the program, I was feeling pretty dubious about this, I just wasn’t sure how they were going to do this.

I needn’t have worried as it was really good, they didn’t try to change anything about the characters or storylines and the actors played the characters really well, which could not have been an easy task!

On Tuesday, I was feeling a bit fuzzy. Some friends were going out for dinner in the evening and although I did want to go, I had been out on the Thursday and the Saturday night, was it a wise decision to go out again?

I decided to stay home, the snow was still on the ground so staying indoors in the warm instead of going out was a bit of an easier decision and I woke up on Wednesday feeling refreshed and almost back to normal. I got so much more done!

I had a really exciting day as I finished my first newsletter as a freelancer. Writing and creating a newsletter for me and this blog page is one thing, but doing one for another business is another thing altogether and I am feeling pretty proud of myself.

On Thursday I went for lunch with the bestie which was much needed, I had a few things on my mind & I had shut myself away in the house for the last couple of days, so I had a little offload over an omelette and felt much better for it.

I came home and did some work on a company website, something I’m still learning. I managed to figure something out and gave myself a pat on the back for the second time in 2 days.

On Friday I woke up later than planned. My mood has taken a bit more of a

dip and I am trying to figure out why. I have stupidly tried to push my thoughts and feelings aside but I should know better.

Everything comes out in a huge outburst of word vomit that doesn’t make any sense and I feel annoyed at myself for not being able to articulate my feelings once again.

Fortunately, I have planned a shopping day with my mum and we head off for some retail therapy and lunch and as the day goes on, I start to feel slightly better.

I’m home alone for the evening when I receive an invitation to get out and that is just what I need. Now I just need to find something to wear!!!

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Photo by Crazy Cake on Unsplash
2022-12-17 18:32:51

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