The Imposter, The Inner Critic and The Chihuahua

Ugh! As if the raging hormones wreaking havoc with my body and mind weren’t enough, I’ve found myself grappling once again with my old friend, imposter syndrome, 

Imposter syndrome is hard to deal with at any time, but when you are trying your very best to get through the day without crying over the most minor thing and the added pressure of that inner critic b*stard feeding off of that, constantly telling me I’m just not good enough. It’s crippling.

Yet, amidst the chaos of perimenopause, there’s a glimmer of silver lining, I’ve rediscovered my stubborn determination. It’s a trait that seemed to have vanished for much of my adult life, but its timely return is a welcomed ally.

On those days when I am crying or feel like utter crap, I can feel my vicious inner chihuahua just frothing at the mouth to be to break free from its confines.

With each passing day, as my mood dips and rises, that scrappy little dog within me grows stronger, ready to pounce at the first sign of doubt, propelling me forward before the inner critic can even muster a response.

I was stuck on how to move my business forward. I had made some time in my diary to work on improving Clare H Writes, but now that the time had come, I had no idea which next steps to take. Do I work on my website? Do I do some marketing? What should I do first?

I plucked a book from my TBR list. This one was called “Take Your Shot.” It is about how a golf instructor gives lessons to a business coach, who then gives him invaluable business advice on how to change the way he sees his business so you can overcome your own obstacles.

As I read it, I felt the sparks of inspiration igniting. If only I had a business coach! I could learn so much. All I need is a bit of guidance. Sadly, I don’t have the spare cash to spend on this.

Yet, fate seemed to have other plans. Two days later, an unexpected email landed in my inbox—a fellow freelance writer offering a complimentary 20-minute call with a business coach. Before my inner critic could blink, the chihuahua took over. I signed up for a call, and it was in my calendar.

Now, I’m not one for phone calls. The mere thought of them fills me with a sense of unease, a discomfort that lingered like a bad smell throughout the week leading up to the call. The inner critic is now in his element jabbering away!

“What’s the point?”

“They won’t tell you anything you don’t already know?” “It’s not a very convenient time,” 

But the chihuahua was fighting back, telling me that if it makes me uncomfortable, I should do it. It echoed my words from my last post.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.

As Tuesday rolled around and the house fell silent, I found myself sandwiched between the non-stop noise of my inner critic and the relentless yapping and nipping of my inner chihuahua. 

When the time came, I pushed past my apprehension and answered the call. Lydia, the business coach, was friendly and made me feel comfortable right away.

I poured out my struggles with imposter syndrome and fear of failure. Lydia reminded me how normal imposter syndrome is, and even the most successful CEOs suffer from it and fear of failure. It’s about not letting it get the better of us. 

I was surprised at my answers to some of Lydia’s questions. I hadn’t realised what I was truly thinking until I said it out loud. I had gotten so caught up in worrying about what I wasn’t doing that I had missed the basic questions that I needed to ask myself.

The twenty minutes whizzed by, and when the call ended, I felt a newfound clarity wash over me. The fog of confusion that had clouded my thoughts regarding my copywriting business began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of purpose and direction.

All it cost me was just 20 minutes of my time, which no doubt I would have otherwise spent scrolling social media or watching crap on TV. I was so proud of myself for taking that step.

The return on that investment? Priceless. With my new confidence and clear direction, I’m all set to handle whatever comes my way, driven by a fresh sense of purpose and determination, with my trusty chihuahua in tow, of course.

Sharing is the best compliment! Don’t keep it to yourself—share with friends!

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4 Comments on “The Imposter, The Inner Critic and The Chihuahua

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