Routine setting

Wednesday 7th October 2020

At the request of Lucy & Hannah, I have decided to try and post a blog at least once a week.

The husband and I have just got back from a much needed break in the Lake District. The week preceding this wasn’t particularly great.

After feeling like I was finally on the right track and starting to feel good about myself, I took a bit of a slump. My sleep was up the wall, I have fully come off of the anti depressants and I drank more than I should have. By the time I had my counselling session last week, I felt like I was back at square one.

The bitch that is my inner critic (name suggestions welcome) was having a field day, telling me how useless I was. I discovered at my session that I dread going away.

I went to argue this when my counsellor suggested it, who dreads going away? Then I realised it was true. The shame of how I look is so ingrained in me, the thought of going somewhere new stresses me out. I had ordered lots of new clothes etc because I wanted to blend in, to hide so that no one could see me. I realised I usually spent a lot of my holiday time, not actually enjoying the moments but thinking of what I was going to do when I got back, start that diet, do that training programme or start a skincare routine. I practically spent all my holiday thinking about being home. What’s the point of that? Why am I doing this? I realised that it’s probably due to the fact that when I’m away I have time to think. I’m not thinking about work, housework or what we‘re having for dinner, I’m relaxed.
How do I combat this? I decided that I need to start making time. Block out a couple of hours per week to plan my week so that when I do get some down time, whether that be on holiday or at home, I can actually have down time and not be trying to sort my life out and every spare moment, I will have breathing space, which I clearly need.

Another things that keeps cropping up in books or podcasts I come across, is about routine. Creating good habits or rituals to keep you on the right path, more specifically, a morning routine. Nothing to complicated but something you want to make sure you do daily, without it becoming a chore, so it becomes as standard as having a shower or brushing your teeth, you don’t even think about doing these things, because they’re a habit.

So that’s where I am now, I am going to try out a new morning routine, seeing as we are now not back in the office for the foreseeable and also an evening routine, which is more about self care and will include things such a bath before bed, night cream and reading my book.