As you know by now, I like to reflect on the previous month and now I have an entire year to look back on. I feel that doing this gives me perspective, what I’ve done well, what I need to work on, what I want and even more importantly, what I no longer want and let me tell you, there was a lot of that this past year.
Every article I came across over the past few weeks is about goal-setting and/or self-reflection. I greedily bookmarked all of those articles, knowing I wanted to do both as I welcome in 2023. I even set up a new folder called Goals & Self Reflection and felt excited to be able to go back to all of those articles.
Now that time has come and quite frankly, by the time I have read the 50+ articles, it will be the end of 2023! So I decided, that for the self-reflection part at least, I would do it my own way, as I have been each month.
So let’s take a look at what I have learned this year.
- I took time out sick from work, which made me realise I was not doing what I loved, so I quit my 9-5 and started a freelance writing business. I now have regular work with a company and hope to take on a lot more work in the new year
- I worked hard on my blog page and started a newsletter, but also learnt about setting boundaries with that, I didn’t need to post every single day or keep my focus on one particular platform, reminding myself that this is primarily for my own enjoyment.
- I created my little sanctuary in our spare room.
- I played around with my routine and realised that whilst I feel better having a routine, it does not need to be rigid and life happens, so sometimes, that routine will go out the window and it’s not the end of the world.
- I worked really hard on myself and my mental health. I had a lot of honest and sometimes uncomfortable conversations. I learned how important it was to put myself first and that it is not a selfish thing to do.
- I battled with fears of both failure and success and know that it ok to fail or succeed.
- I cut back on my alcohol intake, I used to drink most days, but now most days I don’t drink and when I do drink, I usually enjoy it more.
- I learned a lot about writing, took some workshops and improved my skillset.
- I got back out walking and enjoyed it.
- I made time to rest, as and when I needed it and am learning to listen to my body more.
After writing this list, I was surprised to find just how many good things there were on there. I want to point out that for every positive there has been, there has likely been a negative, for example, giving up my 9-5 came with a significant financial loss.
The changes this year took a huge toll on my mental health before I accepted that I could no longer continue as I had been and making that change was very stressful for me for several months. But, I persevered, and worked hard, mainly on myself, because I believe that’s essential to being happy in any area of life.
When I think back to the girl I was a year ago – not sure if I can still refer to myself as a girl at 41 but I am going with it – that girl of yesteryear was an anxious mess, with no confidence, who wanted to please everyone.
She dealt with overwhelm by creating massive to-do lists and drinking to distract herself. She pushed herself to her limits until she was too unwell to do anything at all. She never put herself before others, because she didn’t think she was worthy.
That girl is still there, but now the woman is emerging (finally!!) who is learning how to soothe the girl as and when she needs it, who is more confident in herself, and she knows that she can, and will handle whatever life throws at her but she also knows that sometimes you need to take a break and that doing that does not make you a failure.
The biggest thing I have learned is that although some days, I will be the woman, some days I will be the girl and some days I will be both and that is absolutely fine. I want to keep learning and growing as a person and I am very excited about what is to come next.
What did you learn about yourself in 2022?
