750 Words Really Helped With The 750 Different Moods I Had This Week

I finally woke up last Thursday, not feeling like I hadn’t slept for 100 years. I was feeling pretty good until I remember that it’s cardio day.

I did it. It hurt. I still don’t like it. But it gets me moving so I will try and keep it going in the vain hope that I will start enjoy it one day.

Later that day, I decide to do my budget for the week, aware that the money I have put aside is slowly dwindling away.

I have a complete panic when I realise that I have less money than I first thought.

I message my friend Twinnie and ask her to refer me for a job I’ve seen on LinkedIn at her place, which is the place I was originally supposed to go and she very kindly does.

I feel like a complete failure, it feels like I’m giving up by going back to financial services and turning my back on my dream. It feels like I’m not being true to myself.

But the comfortable coat of self doubt has enveloped me and if I’m honest l was feeling pretty bloody shit about it all.

Later that day, after a visit to the butchers with the husband and a sneaky Aperol spritz in the bar a few doors down, I sit in our garden and slowly start to peel away at that coat by taking some small positive steps. 

I email the writing launch for some advice on changing my CV. How do you write a CV for a job you have no experience in? I’m crap at selling myself at the best of times but how can I sell myself on something I’ve never been employed to do? 

I know the points I need to make, I just can’t seem to figure out how to put them onto a CV. It’s like that feeling of a word being on the tip of your tongue but you can’t quite remember it.

If anyone has any advice on this, I’d be so grateful!

On Saturday the husband went off to play golf and I had a whole Saturday to myself. I read an article on about a website called 750 words

The idea is that you write 750 words on their website each day, it can be a load of old nonsense if you wish. Once you’ve finished it gives you some insights about your writing I.e. what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. 

I decided I was going to treat it like a diary/brain dump, it was secure, no one would read it and I was intrigued to see what came up from my deepest, darkest thoughts. 

On Sunday, I decided to log on to 750 words and make this the very first thing I would do each morning (after feeding the Tobes of course!)

This meant I could let all the craziness out of my head and meditate straight after, without all those intrusive thoughts buzzing around.

Later that day the husband suggested we walk to the shops and stop off for a quick drink in the pub, which of course we do, but it was anything but quick.

It was really nice to spend some time with the husband, living together and both at home, you’re with eachother a lot but usually we’re both doing our own thing or sat in front of the tv together, so I was really grateful to have this quality time.

On Monday, I woke up with a slight hangover. I had planned to exercise, but decided not to, giving myself another reason to be pissed of at myself.

As I write my 750 words, I start referencing Barry – You can read more about that here

My anxiety is at an all time high and I’m struggling quite a bit, but I noticed that I felt a lot better after getting those 750 words written.

I complete 2 sessions of my writing course whilst sat in the garden and write my next blog post. I was in a much better mood and was much more productive, long may it continue.

Tuesday brought more grogginess and very little energy. My anxiety was lingering and I wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it, so I just tried my best to push through it and hope to come out the other side. 

Sometimes that’s all you can do.

On Wednesday, I was back to beating myself up, about not exercising, about beating myself up about exercising and about making excuses not to do stuff. 

It all went down into the my 750 words for the day, until I had basically had an argument with all of my moods and Barry, but I felt so much clearer afterwards.

I go off to get my eyelashes done, which made me feel a lot better about my reflection in the mirror and returned feeling much more determined.

Writing those 750 words each morning has not only become an important part of my day, it’s something I look forward to. It’s a release, I can say what I want, I can unravel my thoughts and I can make sense of how I am really feeling.

I am soo grateful to have found this website. Thanks again Kristin Austin.

I’ve started to share some of the posts on LinkedIn and a couple of people have very kindly liked or shared them. 

If just one or two people could do this each time I post on any platform, I would be so grateful ❤️

2022-08-26 11:10:00

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