After my discovery at my therapy session last week, I was surprised to find that the feeling of having that huge weight lifted from my shoulders had lasted.
I think I had grown so used to having those daily mental battles with myself, about myself, that when I realised that they weren’t happening, I was perplexed.
Did I like myself now? Was this just because I was having a few good days? Would the bitter inner voice return the minute something went wrong? I didn’t want to tempt fate and truly believe that I had finally started to get to grips with my self-esteem.
Soon enough, a bad day did come and the voice did too, but it was different; it was quieter and weaker, and I felt it had less power over me.
I was able to do the things I needed to do to make myself feel better, with a lot less resistance and I bounced back to my happy state much more quickly, feeling satisfied with how things were and even, dare I say, excited, about the direction I’m heading in.
I wanted to share some of the things I have found to help me get through any darker times. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix here and some things may have to be done consistently before you will see the benefits. But I am so glad I kept doing them because they make a huge difference to my mindset.
Therapy
Yep, I’m going straight in with the big one. Without therapy, I 100% would not be in the headspace I am today.
I would probably still be drinking & eating too much, completely unaware that I was doing this to numb my emotions.
I would probably still be working for a company that destroys my mental health and I am pretty sure that a lot of my relationships would be diminished as I spiralled out of control.
And worst of all, I would have accepted all of this, because I was not self-aware and had no idea about what was really going on in my own body and mind.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not an easy ride. It may take a while for you to find the right one and you will need to be prepared to be open and honest about pretty much everything, but the things you learn about yourself, the difference it can make to your life far outweigh any obstacle, in my opinion.
Setting Boundaries
This was one of the first things I learned in therapy. Feeling safe in your environment is key to your happiness.
When you have negative thoughts or feelings about certain people, it’s time to question that relationship. I no longer spend time with people whose company I don’t enjoy, who drain my energy or impact me negatively in any way shape or form.
My home is my safe space. I don’t have people turning up unannounced or inviting themselves over. I tend to spend time with others outside of my home and I am very careful about who I let into this space. It’s crucial to my mental health that I feel safe and comfortable in my own home.
Brain dumping
If I find that I am ruminating over something, or if I am feeling sad, angry or overwhelmed, I pick up my phone, open a draft email and I write exactly what I am thinking and feeling at that moment.
I don’t have to worry about anyone’s judgement or whether I am wrong or right I can just feel what I feel and get it all out of my head when it feels full. Sometimes I save them as a draft to read at a later date, sometimes time can give a bit of clarity.
Self Reflection
I used to do this as part of completing my daily planner without really giving it too much thought. It sometimes felt like a tedious chore and I didn’t feel like I was benefitting from it, it was just another task on my never-ending to-do list.
But then I found the right questions in my Law of Attraction planner. I started doing them each morning and I began to notice a difference.
I write down the questions along with my answer and by doing this, I start the day on a positive note, reminding myself of all the good there is in life because even when you’re having a bad day, you can always remind yourself of something good, no matter how small.
Walking
After therapy, this is my ultimate game-changer.
I go for a walk most mornings, I have found a local route that I enjoy, which is about 3 miles, and takes me just under an hour. That hour, usually the first hour I’m awake, is just me and my Spotify playlist of motivational podcasts.
Walking helps me to think. I can walk off anger, sadness, and frustration, I can brainstorm, come up with ideas, remember things I have forgotten and I can just be. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other, nothing more, nothing less.
I am mindful without trying as I take in my surroundings, the houses, the gardens, the birds, the foxes, the people, the sky, and even the ground. When I get home, my mood is generally better and I am ready for the rest of the day.
I’ll be taking a few weeks off from writing, but I will be sharing some of the questions I use for self-reflection with you whilst I’m away, so you can give those a try for yourself.
