Riding The Emotional Rollercoaster

Up, down and loop the loop.

Last Friday, after keeping a few things to myself and letting them bubble under the surface, I got them off my chest. As usual, I felt so much better and wondered why I didn’t just let it all out in the first place.

The problem I have is that I am much better with my words when they are written, I have time to go over them, think about what I have said and reword where necessary, this is why I don’t send voice notes, although I do like to receive them.

I had been anxious about going out that evening, alcohol and anxiety do not mix. Thankfully, the air was now clear, and I could go out and enjoy my evening. The husband and I went out with some friends and danced the night away in a local Irish bar.

On Saturday, I felt like a new woman, albeit a groggier new woman. I didn’t feel the need to eat all the food like I had the past few days and the husband and I enjoyed a chilled day indoors.

I was woken up by Toby on Sunday morning, who decided he wanted to come and have a snuggle in bed with me and the husband, I made the most of it as Toby is very stingy with his cuddles, so I take what I can get.
The husband and I took a leisurely stroll to the cinema to see Top Gun Maverick, we made it for the trailers, which I really enjoy!

They played an advert about putting your phones away before the film and it made me think about how much I sit in front of the TV, whilst using my laptop, IPad and phone. I really want to make a conscious effort to stop doing this.

We both loved the film, if you haven’t seen it I would highly recommend it! Sequels can be hit and miss, especially after a few decades, but this was superb.

We went for a couple of drinks after and then for a roast dinner, before walking the 30 minutes home. It’s been ages since we have done something like that together and said how much we both enjoyed our day together.

On Monday, I took myself into the garden with my laptop. Despite feeling a bit woozy the day before, I was productive. I planned out my week and did lots of writing, my excitement still fizzing away.

For a while now, I have seen something called “Buy Me a Coffee” on other writers’ profiles and posts, so I decided to see what it was all about.
Put simply, this is a way for people who enjoy your work, to leave you a tip or donation (buy you a coffee) to show their appreciation. I don’t drink coffee, so mine is called “Buy Me a Wine” it doesn’t even need to be a large one

I got a very rare nine hours of sleep on Monday night, setting me up for another positive Tuesday.
I had recently joined something on Medium called “read for read”. This was very kindly set up by a writer on medium.

They select 10 articles from Medium, add them to a post, tagging the writers of those articles who should then take the time to read the other nine articles and add some comments, all of this then contributes to the writer’s Medium earnings.

I was surprised to find my article appearing already! I took the time to read the other nine articles which I thoroughly enjoyed. I realised I had been so focused on getting my writing out there, that I was missing out on all the reading I could be doing, so I will now be doing more of that.

I knew that my positive streak would have to come to a screeching halt eventually and that day happened to be Wednesday. To put it bluntly, I felt shit. I was annoyed. I should be celebrating, my stats and earnings on Medium were both up. Why did I want to cry?

I decided to write a post about the things I do to get me out of this funk and then spent the next few hours trying to avoid doing those things. I just wanted to drink a bottle of wine and eat a whole Victoria sponge.

Eventually, I did cry. I cried, messaged the bestie and did a few other things on my list. I didn’t feel as good as I had felt for the past few days, but I didn’t want to shove cake & wine in my mouth between sobs either.

I took myself to bed, read my book and went off to sleep hoping that I was just having a hormonal day.
Thankfully, Thursday brought sunshine in both the sky and my mind. I got up nice and early, meditated, reflected, planned my day, did some writing and had a little catch-up with the bestie.

All is right with the world once again. ♥️

2022-06-17 06:51:00

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