Put the kettle on or pour the wine, this post is a little bit longer than usual but hopefully worth it. I had this reading 2 weeks ago today and have only just had the chance to listen to it. As I was writing , I had quite a few WOW moments. I remembered things that now make total sense of some parts of the reading, which I either hadn’t thought of or didn’t know at the time. I have written at the end of the post, along with Tanya’s details
Tanya always pulls a card for the person she is reading for before the reading.
My first word
My card was, Tolerance.
Tanya explained that when we get this, it means we keep getting knocked down and getting back up again and in doing so, building up a tolerance.
I’m flabbergasted, that is EXACTLY how I have been feeling and it’s bloody exhausting.
I had had a conversation with my friend Rachel only 3 days ago saying this is how I had been feeling.
Tanya tells me, it is fact really productive as Tolerance brings us wisdom, making us stronger, helping us through the next time we feel knocked down and gives us strength of character.
The absolute root
Absolute root of my energy is the high priestess.
Tanya says this is her favourite card.
She goes on to explain, it means we are learning so much about ourselves and it can be such a long process, but we never really know as much as we can about ourselves on this earth.
This card is all about learning about yourself, self exploration, self trust and learning lessons. It’s about the mystery of ourselves, the secrets we have, such as the things we have to deal with and work through and it is also connected to spiritual and psychic self.
I can completely relate to this, I feel like I’m right in the middle of all this, I have learnt so much about myself through counselling, reading and writing but I have also only just scratched the surface. I feel like I get to a good place mentally and then go back down again (this goes back to tolerance)
She explains that what the High priestess tells us is that where we know ourselves so well, we almost begin to predict these lows and can then use the tools we have to prevent them.
She feels I should choose wisely. I am always the one that’s leading. I am aware of my triggers and should choose wisely which road to take. This is part of the learning curve.
My present
Tanya pulls my first card and gets very excited. Its the hierophant card.
This is the partner of the high priestess, this is huge and quite rare to get both together in one reading, I also have the Sun card.
Consistent routine to do the right thing, feeding our body, mind & soul will bring us the results we need. She feels that something has shifted, this is really strong at the moment and I am in the right gear.
This is exactly where I am trying to be, the cards are saying I am already there, so if I have plans to help myself in this way, they are right.
I then have the destiny card. Tanya tells me these are big, profound cards today!
When destiny comes in, we are entering a new chapter of our lives. Its not necessarily a change of job/house etc, it is to do with myself and how I feel.
Tanya sees me going to a library, studying, researching and there is a very strong spiritual link to these cards as I also have the wisdom card.
She says I may want to start talking about my experiences, getting it out there is very therapeutic for me as well.
She asks if I have thought about doing a podcast but I say I am too scared. I like the idea of it though, it’s something I have thought about but it’s a lot of work. “See what happens” she tells me, as there is so much good energy around this and it’s very very healing.
This is the bones and structure to my reading and I am going into my year with great intentions. She says it feels like I’m building up a lot of resilience to stuff which is exactly what I need.
What’s going on externally.
I have 2 cards which together mean travel, could be literal or metaphorical.
I have lots of fast moving energy around me, she tells me this is to do with my mental health as well and it’s like I am coming out of a darker period and finally leaving the shores of uncertainty, I’m ready for some calm. This is again so accurate.
She said it looks like I am going to a retreat, I will be visiting somewhere to retreat. It has a spiritual feel to it and will help with my mental health, but I will be travelling for this, it will be a journey in my mind as well as a physical journey and I will be connecting with others spiritually.
She feels like there is a well of water, the only place she can think of with this is Glastonbury.
There is a spiritual meaning here and it will be good for me, what the cards are saying is that I should do as much of this as possible, anything where I am learning and growing really helps me, with the structure I am building for myself. She feels it’s important for her to say that, it’s like I have been trying to get this in place for the last few years and sometimes I can fall through the net, which means I have to climb back up. Now it feels like I am making such a strong net, that I can’t fall through it.
This trip is really significant, it will be something I am doing with another person.
She then goes on to say that I am in two minds about something, I need to make a decision about something. One side is me being productive, it’s creative, I’m getting my voice out, my words out and it’s very spiritual. The other side is that I am scared, preventing myself and protecting myself, there is lots of resistance and no flow. She asks if this is making any sense to me, I say yes, but it could be one of two things, so she says she will look more.
She says the resistance is because I am being taken back to things that have happened in the past and it’s making me resist looking forward. There are memories if love and looking at things that aren’t there any more, I need to have acceptance and let things go.
This is making me want to protect myself and not push things forward, every time I have this chance to move forward and really flourish I am not allowing myself to do this.
This is relating to my creative side and it’s almost like the mental health side of things are stopping me.
I suddenly realise now what this is about and tell her.
There is a project I have been thinking about working on, something very personal to me but I am too scared to write about it as I am concerned about the opinion of others.
Tanya tells me this makes sense and tells me what she thinks my project entails and I confirm. She says this all now makes complete sense about who I am trying to protect and why, but by doing this project, I would connect to so many people out there.
I tell her that this was what the whole aim of this project is, as there is not a lot of information or help about this out there.
We then look to see if I am going to take this step, as this has come in for a reason and this would be really healing for me.
We have some massive cards come out and Tanya begins to decipher them.
She then tells me that if I do this, it is going to uncover the truth about how I feel, good and bad and that certain people may not be aware of this.
The negative that is holding me back is the unexpectedness of the truth and this could open up a can of worms.
She tells me that the future is what we decide and that her readings have been changing lately, everyone always want their life for the next year mapped out for them and really this is for us as individuals to work out, we have a choice, however, we can see if it is a good idea.
I am being given a warning, this will unravel some things and potentially cause some upset.
She then pulls the fertility card as I am saying, “maybe I should just write this for myself for now” she says she loves this when this happens as the fertility card means growth of a person and to do things as authentically as possible without pushing boundaries. This doesn’t mean to say I won’t write this publically, but perhaps something less drastic for now which writing this for myself would be, for now getting it down on paper would help me.
I tell her that in this reading so far, she has said a lot of things to me that my counsellor has said which was really interesting.
The future
I am now going into a hermit phase, spending lots of time on my own, researching and possibly studying. There will be lots of time out to understand things about myself, my self awareness is really growing.
This may highlight differences with others around me, I tell her that this is already how I am starting to feel at the moment.
She goes on to say that I feel like I can’t win in certain situations, but I need to keep working on myself, choose my battles and always try to see both sides. There are some things I will just need to accept. I will notice more things as I become more self aware that I don’t necessarily like and or agree with.
Everything here is like she is reading my mind.
Material things
Then things of a more material nature appear. We have a new start, however, there is a waiting game and it feels like someone is walking round in circles with this. I laugh, of course it’s the husband. She says I am so ready to go, but he is taking his time, she says for her, he is feeling sluggish and slow to start, but I want growth and this is impacting me.
This year is showing a couple of things, working towards the new start in a new home and also saving money in that we the longer we are in this house the more money we have for the new house. It’s definitely not going to happen fast but she says it is productive and there is a ball rolling.
Then there is rejoice and celebration, I am closing a door on a chapter. I will have something to be happy about, a new energy. This year I will have this new direction, although I will still have to wait a little bit.
The question around where we will move to is still undecided and what we think now may change later on.
Work
She starts off by saying I’m in two minds.
She sees I’m weighing up different options. There is the familiarity of the job and the security and I enjoy being at home, on the flip side, we have the forward thinking focus of the queen of swords, taking control of work. It feels like I’m not talking or sharing how I am feeling about work is there a female boss that I am not gelling with or need to talk to?
Wow. Exactly that. I feel like I can’t be honest at work anymore, there is no one to talk to.
She says that this woman’s crown keeps growing and she isn’t who she used to be. Again spot on.
It feels like I can’t speak my truth which isn’t good and I must keep talking about it, even if not to her.
I am in two minds and this goes back to moving house, which is pretty much the only reason I am still in this job at the moment. There is an anger around work at the moment.
We go to look at what the rest of the year looks like.
I’m feeling demotivated and weighing up whether I want to stay in this job. She feels like I’m going to hold tight for a bit, however this doesn’t mean I am not going to do anything about it.
I won’t be hasty and will be very particular when applying.
She then links to someone I used to work & also socialise with and the possibility of working with them again. It is likely I will get my next role through a friend, although it won’t happen overnight and there is a lot of waiting.
I should not let work get the better of me and create a harmonious relationship at work where I can. I tell her that I am struggling at perhaps I don’t need to get as stressed as I am. She says I should have patience and not be in the low vibe and try and rise above it.
Key Advice
The Universe card is pulled. This is the law of attraction card, how we feel and react to things, mirrors our external life. This card means I create my own reality, I should use my law of attraction knowledge but more importantly self regulation and check in with myself and how I am feeling
We discuss that it doesn’t mean always being positive, but being aware of how I’m feeling and working through it to get myself back up, using self care and the more I do this, the easier it becomes and not allowing myself to stay down low for too long.
This panic and stress that I feel, will make me feel physically ill.
She tells me about chakras, if I am stressed about the house situation I will notice it in my base chakra, which is anything underneath my stomach.
If it’s matters of the heart or I’m not speaking I will feel it in my chest and throat. She feels that I will learn more about this as well as my triggers.
My relationship with my counsellor comes up and it’s really important to maintain.
I should keep planning, it may feel like I’m getting nowhere but I am.
She pulls the star card, which is the healing card. It feels stormy at the moment, I feel lost and that there is lots going on, but it will settle down.
The last card
The student.
She tells me the high priestess and the hierophant are about study, but more study of the mind and self so this does tie in well with the rest of my reading. This also serves as a reminder that we are all still learning about ourselves and I shouldn’t be hard on myself, I had tolerance as my first card to emphasise this, I’ve been doing a good job walking through my life lessons and keep going.
This year, I am going to move through the resistances and start to have that shift, which I hadn’t quite grasped before.
As promised, I have listed the items in italics below, all of the below was done either before my reading or I was surprised to find it happened after, as I hadn’t remembered it coming up in my reading.
Tanya sees me going to a library, studying, researching – when writing this, I realised that on the Saturday & Sunday before my reading, spent hours researching information for the project mentioned. I joined forums and started a notes page.
She says I may want to start talking about my experiences – my counsellor advised me the very next day to write a letter to someone to tell them how I was feeling about a situation.
- it feels like I’m building up a lot of resilience to stuff – last night I was writing in my 5 year diary and reading entries from 2018, thinking to myself how far I have come and how some of the things that bothered me then don’t get to me anymore.
- I am going to a retreat – The weekend before my reading, I was talking to my friend about going on a spa weekend, we both want to get away from it all, we decided on a venue last night and will be booking tomorrow. I’m excited to see if there was a well of water.
- have acceptance and let things go. – Again this is something I have been discussing with my counsellor.
- There will be lots of time out to understand things about myself – This is something I am now diarising, time for myself and I often question why I feel certain things as they happen.
- I’m not talking or sharing how I am feeling about work – everyone has now resigned but this morning I have put a reminder in my phone to get some advice from a friend on how to approach this with my boss
- Lots going on – I have said several time to the husband that my brain feels full and it’s too much
- I’m not speaking I will feel it in my chest and throat – I am actually off sick as I write this with chest pains and a sore throat.
Exciting! If you would like to have a reading with Tanya, read her blog posts or find out more about her work she has the following pages
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