Monday 24th August 2020
Last week was a bit of a downward spiral when it came to my diet. It started Wednesday, when for some bizarre reason, I gave in to my snack cravings. I tried to understand it, to fathom why, but I couldn’t find a reason, other than just wanting crisps and crap. I skipped dinner and managed to claw back some calories, it wasn’t hard as I was full from all the snacks.
Thursday & Friday, I managed to refrain from indulging myself in savoury heaven and even made some good choices whilst eating out. Then along came Saturday. It started so well, helped along by the fact that I didn’t get up until late morning, I didn’t eat until lunchtime, where I had an omelette. I had planned for an Indian takeaway for dinner and still on track with my calories to do this.
Well this never happened and I went way off track. I wake up Sunday morning, full of regret, shame and anger. I want to cry. I decide that today is fuck it day and I am not going to track anything, I’m just going to enjoy, no beating myself up, I’ve done enough of that.
I do enjoy my day and feel more relaxed not having to think about what I’m eating or drinking, but I am also looking forward to getting myself back on track, as much as a bit of over indulgence seemed like a good idea, it wasn’t the reason I had a nice weekend, if anything it was the down part of it.
The lesson learned here is that I don’t need to eat or drink excessive amounts to have a good time or to feel happy and I need to start thinking about being good enough for myself, maybe once I can accept myself for who I am, things will be easier? It’s going to be an interesting counselling session this week!
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2020-08-24 11:05:00
