I have this friend, we used to be really close, we went through a lot together, however the last few years I have become more and more frustrated as our friendship seems to have become very one-sided.
Around the time I moved out of the area, she had her first child, all was good I went to visit her regularly and I would take time off of work to drive over to see her and the baby, who later become my godson. Understandably, she couldn’t come out as much, but I still made sure I stayed in touch and visited whenever I could. She didn’t drive at the time so I would go and collect her and take her home if she wanted to come to me, which wasnt very often. Then it kind of started to fall apart.
I would send her a message or call her and wouldn’t get a response, I understand she has other priorities, not a problem, but when I would see her she would tell me how she was having an affair a husband of one of the women at the school and how they had been messaging all night. Ok, not only did I not agree with what she was doing, I was annoyed, she has all this time to message this guy back, but she didn’t have time to message me back? Slightly rude but ok, I decided to take a step back, I didn’t want to fall out with anyone but I wasnt going to put any more effort in than necessary, I was quite upset, I thought our friendship was better than that.
I would get the occasional phone call or message when there was an update on this guy, I didn’t really want to hear it, I tried to talk about her husband and children but she just wanted to talk about him, she would suggest meeting up but I tried to avoid it on a one to one basis as I didnt want to hear about her affairs, so I kind of just got on with my life, avoiding the situation when I could and occasionally meeting up.
Then last year we seemed to get a bit closer again, she got better at replying to messages and we kept in touch more regularly and met up a few times, she seemed to have realised that I didn’t want to hear about her affairs, which were still ongoing and then, I got engaged. I sent a message out to all of my close friends, her included and everybody responded, apart from her, she did however respond on social media. Odd.
I messaged her a few days later to ask when she was free and I’ll give her a call as I knew she was going away, I never heard a thing. This was so bizarre. Every time I saw her before she was always asking “Are you engaged yet?” So when it finally happened, it seemed like she didn’t want to know, I was confused, I was expecting her to be straight on the phone wanting to know all about it, not because that’s what I think people should be doing but because she had always made such a big deal about it before, so to hear nothing was strange. When I did hear it was on a group message of a few of us and not much to it just a general message to everyone.
I heard from her on and off, making half-hearted attempts to meet up, although I had to go to her, which unfortunately was a bit difficult as I was so busy at the weekends and it was too far to drive in the evening, I suggested meeting halfway in the week but she said she was too busy, then she didn’t come to the engagement party, so I just left it.
I thought maybe she had stuff going on, but her social media has never been so active, it’s all over instagram her out partying, she didn’t even invite me to her birthday night out before Christmas, which has never happened before.
Now, out of the blue she is messaging me asking about all my plans etc, she doesn’t even know how he proposed. Its been months! These are the messages I would have expected when this all happened, I had even planned to have her and her children as part of the wedding party, which obviously isn’t going to happen now. I feel a little bit hurt and confused as to why this has happened and I am also not sure if I am being oversensitive or selfish. I wonder if she would be expecting to be part of the wedding party, but it just doesn’t feel right, I need people I can rely on.
I’m really not sure what to do.2017-04-26 07:01:57
