A Blood Test, No Mess Getting Dressed and A Battle With The Worry Weasel

On the day that I am due to speak to a Vitality GP, I of course feel full of beans.

It’s the one rare day that I feel my best self. I’m not putting off tasks and find myself just generally getting shit done, all the while wondering what the Clare of the past 6 weeks has been so het up about. I feel like James McVoy in Split with all these different personalities.

I’m going to my cousin’s wedding on Saturday and I have pretty much ordered the entire occasion dress selection of both Very & Next, I even ordered things knowing they wouldn’t suit me, you know just in case my body shape changes before then.

I should have known my misery was coming to an end when I found not one but two dresses out of the 50 odd that I’d ordered – I think that’s a pretty accurate guess rather than an exaggeration. But of course, now I need shoes and a bag so I head off to collect more parcels whilst listening to 90’s R&B.

I finish work and have a video call with the GP, she is so helpful and is arranging for me to have a blood test. She tells me that once the results are back they will talk me through the options. It feels so good to feel heard by a doctor finally and I’m glad that I’m getting the ball rolling rather than avoiding the problem.

I brave the trying on of shoes with the dresses and am pleased with the outcome, although I am suspicious of my good fortune and decide that I should take a spare outfit just in case.

The following morning, I woke up well before the birds, it was still dark outside. After unsuccessfully trying to get back to sleep, I decided to get up and seize the day, whilst I had the motivation and mental capacity to do so.

I had a busy day ahead, with lots of work to do before I had to pack for my week in Devon & Cornwall and then schedule some social media posts for when I was away. After spending 2 hours researching for some work I was doing this afternoon, I allowed myself a little look on Instagram.

I saw that the ranty blog that I scheduled last week had been posted on Instagram. I had decided on a whim to tag some pages that I follow around menopause, just to feel some sort of alliance about it and probably a bit of a desperate bid for some help.

The wonderful Libby Stevenson sent me a lovely message straight away, offering compassion, sympathy and some useful resources. What a wonderful human, not only does she provide free resources for us all on social media but she took the time out of her morning to help me. Go give her a follow ❤️

If this had happened a few days ago, I would definitely be crying about it, happy tears of course, but instead, I felt an immense sense of gratitude.

Then the weasel of worry popped up as if to say

“Ooh no, can’t have you feeling relaxed luv, there’s far too much going on!” P*ss off! I want to enjoy these rare moments of peace, calm and happiness for as long as I can and I will strangle that bloody weasel whilst I have the strength.

I decided to focus on what I have to look forward to, spending some time with my family at the weekend and seeing my cousin get married, then some much-needed time with the husband in one of my favourite parts of England.

Later that morning I received a call from the nurse, she was available to come and take my bloods later that day. Wow, bloody marvellous! The nurse arrives right on time, takes my blood and is off again, telling me I will get my results within 24-48 hours! How good is that!

As I cook dinner, I listen to the Mel Robbins podcast. In this episode, she is talking about menopause and hormones. I was astonished and furious to learn that women did not take part in clinical studies until the 80s, so they had no idea how women would react to any medication or treatment that they were given prior to this, deciding to just give them a lower dose than men. WTAF?! Fuming.

Anger aside, it’s a really insightful podcast and it explains our hormones and how they work brilliantly, I honestly think everyone should have a listen.

I also read this post from the executive menopause coach about Mood Swings and irritability which has some great tips, including Yoga, which I know the lovely Libby can help with once I am ready!

2023-08-14 11:16:05

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